We’re having a baby girl!
If you didn’t catch our gender unveil video, then you can find it here (it’s cute, give it a watch for Zachy alone…)
It’s just starting to sink in I’d say. To be honest, it was with a bit of shock and awe when my doctor said “ah, there, that definitely looks to me like a girl!” during our last scan.
We had wanted a girl (my husband particularly), and we had even chosen a name! But at the same time, I don’t think I ever really believed it was a girl. I don’t know why. I guess I always fantasized about having two boys and a girl in that order. The thought of having another mini-Zachy just filled me with so much warmth that I think I really really wanted a boy too!
But a girl. A GIRL! How wonderful!
So wonderful, in fact, I’ve found it quite hard to get my head around.
I am delighted, of course. But at the same time if I am honest, I think I am worried too.
The reason – I think – is that I believe I am a good “boy-Mummy”. I was always a real “tomboy” growing up. I was the first girl grandchild in my family, so always looked up to my boy cousins. My mum’s friends all seemed to have sons too, meaning my play-dates were generally with boys. I honestly don’t recall having my first real girl-friend until I turned three when my childhood best friend moved across the street!
So be it early nurture, or just my general nature (I’ve always been such a Daddy’s-girl too), I’ve always just felt at ease with male friends. Of course I have my close group of my female lovelies too, but I certainly don’t have a wide group of girly-friends. I’ve never been on a “girls’ holiday”. I don’t recall the last time I went on a “girls’ night out…” Yes, I love to get dressed up and look nice. I like a little pamper and I look after my appearance. But to be honest, I am just NOT a girly girl!
And I think that is why I am a little worried…
What if baby girl comes out loving princesses and sparkle? What if I am not the good “girl-Mummy” like I am the good “boy-Mummy”? What if I can’t do her hair all pretty? What if I don’t fit in with the other fellow girl-Mummies at school? What if I can’t talk boys, and lipstick and fashion when she is a teenager?
What if we have nothing in common?! What if she hates me!
…But then, what if I am being completely and utterly ridiculous too?
My husband is a real man-man, but I don’t see him worrying about having a daughter and being a good Daddy to her. In fact he was quite tickled when we came across a stall selling mermaid tails when out for breakfast the other week “Sure I’ll buy her one…if she ever wants a mermaid tail!” He’s also thrilled to bits to be able to browse the “pink aisle” in Mothercare and other baby shops.
So why am I worrying? If genetics has anything to do with it, she’ll probably come out a bit of a tomboy like me too, right? She’ll love her boysy-brother and all his rough and tumble games. She’ll love her Daddy and his motorbike, and treat him like a hero, just like I did with my Daddy growing up. And she’ll adore her Mummy. Because I am her Mummy! Pure and simple.
It shouldn’t really matter how girly I am, or whether I know my Primark from my Prada (I do…) It shouldn’t matter that I like action movies, and know how to snowboard and ride a dirt bike. It shouldn’t matter than my best friend is her Daddy…
Because she’ll love me no matter what.
And I know for damn sure that I’ll love her with every inch of my being, regardless of whether she is into Barbie or Battleships, Care Bears or cars.
I’m not a girly-girl for sure. But I am a girl, and that has never stopped me being a good Mummy to a boy. So why in the hell would it ever stop me being a good Mummy to my beautiful daughter?
It won’t. Ever. And I am so very excited to meet her!
My darling x