Oh, how I look back on my first pregnancy with fond memories… The growing bump, the playful baby inside of me, the daydreams and the fantasies of the sweet little cherub whom I could soon kiss and snuggle. The feeling of complete naturalness and awe at my own body.
Yes, I think I look back on my first pregnancy with fond memories…because Jesus Christ, if I had reminded myself of all the AWFUL AWFUL things, I doubt I would have let myself get pregnant again!!!
Going on 17 weeks now, I am still very much in the throes of early pregnancy nastiness. And I mean nastiness. The sickness, the knackeredness, the very limited desire to do anything aside from lay on the sofa and watch Gossip Girl (I’ve even lost interest in that…)
Yes, yes, I know I have some of the sweeter moments to look forward to (and they quite frankly can’t come soon enough), but for now, here is my list of pesky pregnancy problems that I have experienced to date and wish to gross you all out with too…
Is that a baby in there? Or just a MASSIVE bloated belly? My tummy is smaller now at 16 weeks than at 12 weeks, so yeah, it seems like the little bump I was so proud of was really just a bread baby. Awwwwww, how cute. Things are, thankfully, moving again now. Let keep it that way, hey, bub?
Forget the pregnancy test. I knew I was pregnant by the insanely sore nipples I had in the first few days. The boobs, too, are not run of the mill PMS sore. They’re SORE – off limits to both the toddler and the husband. Touch a boob if you dare!
Sickness, Soooo Much Sickness
I’m starting to “feel better”, despite a horrific bout of flu that decided to knock me for six this week. I’ve run out of people to moan to about how awfully awful pregnancy sickness is, and I am instead now just casually raging at the epic flaw in the human design that a) makes pregnant women feel so so so sick (especially those of us who don’t magically glow after the promised 12 week mark), and b) gives you such low immunity that you may as well be a human petri-dish catching and harbouring every bug in a mile radius… Seriously, who can I write to about this?!
Completely Random Aversions
Yes there are the food aversions (aka EVERYTHING). But then there are the completely random batsh*t aversions too. Like, has someone’s accent on the radio ever repulsed you to the point you’d like to vomit? (I’m not telling which accent, okay). Has a brand’s choice of colours ever made you look away in horror? (red…I hate red on branding right now. So Tim Horton’s, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Hardees, you’re my top offenders). Also, have you watched certain cartoons with your tot to the extent that you feel you may physically vom if you catch another episode of Scooby Doo or Paw Patrol?
Not so much right now, but the early days of this pregnancy, gosh I cried at everything. I completely bawled through a re-watch of Mama Mia. This video about Freddie Mercury obliterated me. I also cried (in horror, I think) listening to Donald Trump’s victory speech live on the radio. It was just too many confused emotions to handle.
My husband, god rest his soul, told me the other week that I’ve “had bad breath since getting pregnant”. Kidding – he is still alive. I could have killed him, but he told me in the nicest way and I am glad he did. Unfortunately it’s a side effect of all the nausea. I have been brushing like a fiend ever since though, to the point my gums now bleed (which apparently, is also normal to experience during pregnancy…does it ever end?)
Frequent Need To Pee
I think I counted my record number of nighttime toilet trips to be around eight last week. So that’s about once an hour. And they say to get all the sleep while you can while you’re pregnant? Well played, body. Well played…
Feeling Hot Hot Hot!
I thought for a while that the Dubai summer is just not subsiding. It’s SO SO HOT EVERYWHERE! Turns out it’s just me, with all my extra blood and general feeling of queasiness making me feel the heat. My husband insists that every room in the apartment feels like a freezer, yet here I am with a sweat moustache asking him to turn it up a notch or two. Yes, very much looking forward to actual cold weather when we visit the UK next month! LET IT SNOW PLEASE!
I’m just tired. All the time. It makes me sad. It’s not just tiredness in the form of “I really need to sleep”, but a general weariness and weakness. I am physically tired and mentally tired. The psychological trials that my toddler likes to play can really get the better of me (how do you reason with a two year old who is insisting on eating his toothpaste for breakfast as an adequate form of sustenance?) I just can’t. And I can’t even stomach coffee to give me an energy boost. Woe is me. I pray to the energy gods that I have some back before December…when Mr Two and I are due to fly solo to the UK!
Limited Patience Levels
I think this is directly linked to the tiredness, and perhaps every other symptom above, but I am definitely running on a shorter fuse right now (gosh, not that it was ever that long to begin with!) I don’t go out of my way to be snappy, BUT…Everything. Annoys. Me! From the hoover being too loud, to being able to hear the neighbor’s TV as I type this, to my husband sending me into an actual psychotic meltdown for licking a spatula of butter icing that I had set aside for myself (it’s a bit of an all-consuming anger-blur, but the words “I told you not to lick it, I was saving it, and now its contaminated with your smelly work-breath and ruined” definitely left my mouth…)
So, there you have it, pregnancy is an absolute joy. Can you tell I am enjoying it? Week 20 was my magic mark last pregnancy, so I am looking ahead to that. Hopefully then I can share some more joyful moments with you very soon. Until then, it’s good to laugh about it all, otherwise I’d just cry, right?
What joys and horrors stood out to you the most when pregnant? I’d love to hear your stories – good, bad and completely crazy below!