The ‘Motherland’ (aka England) in the ‘Mother County’ (aka Yorkshire).
Here are eight realizations that I’m pretty sure my Dubai-born toddler son has had since we arrived!
#1 – Nana And Granddad Don’t Always Live In The iPad
Nana and Granddad – the little smiling faces that I like to carry around on the iPad – are real, huggable people! It turns out they only live in the iPad for a bit of the time…
#2 – Funny Smelling Air
The air is way different in the Motherland to the air in Dubai! It’s colder, it’s wetter…and it sometimes smells like poo-poo!! (or “the countryside” as Mummy refers to it…)
#3 – Everyone Speaks Like Mummy
Nana speaks like Mummy, Granddad speaks like Mummy, Auntie speaks like Mummy – everyone speaks like Mummy here! Except I have never heard Mummy say “ee by gum” “nowt” or “ey up” – these are all new words to me. Though I have heard her say “chuffed” and “cuppa” – she loves her cuppa Yorkshire tea!
#4 – So Many Clothes!
T-shirts, TROUSERS, socks, shoes! I’m forced to wear so so so many clothes in the Motherland! I don’t know why – I’m perfectly happy to run around naked in the wet air. Also…WHAT ARE THESE SLEEVES YOU TORTURE ME WITH!
(*I really shouldn’t laugh, but its so funny)
#5 – Indian Takeaway Obsession…
It’s pretty baffling, but all Mummy and Daddy want to eat is an “English Indian Takeaway” – what does that even mean?! They seem pretty happy about it all – it is pretty yum! Also fish and chips!!
#6 – The Pub
A giant park where I get to play for hours in puddles while Mummy and Daddy drink “grown up” juice and feed me chips. It may just be my most favourite place in the world!
#7 – Daylight Trickery
‘Apparently’ I need to go night-night while it is still bright outside. ‘Apparently’ it gets dark later in the Motherland! I feel I am being tricked into sleep, so have resolved to fight it until it is completely dark…even if I’m so tired I can’t even walk or use facial expressions anymore. It also ‘apparently’ gets bright earlier in the mornings too, but I’m informed that 4am is not an acceptable time to wake up!
#8 – Tesco…
Very similar to Geant…only Mummy needs to pack her own bags. An impressive spectacle to behold!
(*The tiniest bloody bags in the whole entire world too – can you tell I’ve lived away for a while?!)
(Zachy is now 22 months old. We were last in the UK 10 months ago to celebrate his 1st birthday so it’s all pretty new again to him! His Grandparents of course come over to visit us regularly for a bit of sunshine).