8 Signs You’re A Mum Of A Wild Child

Well, as we all know what the 8 Signs You’re Raising A Wild Child are, I thought I’d take a look at the people behind these lovely little creatures – the people who need to look after these crazy little beings – the mums!

So here’s 8 signs that you’re a mum of a wild child…you poor, disheveled, highly anxious, over caffeinated, supermarket fearing beings!

Unusually Good Foresight

The mum of the wild-child has the ability to see five seconds into the future. It is a necessary skills that she has developed to ensure she can react before the wild child pulls over the new plant pot, lobs itself out the high-chair, eats the cat’s food, falls from the slide, and other run-of-the-mill wild child activities.

Abnormally High Cortisol Levels

Days with the wild child can be stress-inducing. Indeed the mum of a wild child must be constantly alert, on hand, and mentally prepared for the cortisol-raising activities the wild child may (or may not) decide to throw at her during the day. You think the simple task of unpacking the shopping is an easy feat for the mum of a wild child? Think again!

A General Fear Of Public Places

With it being somewhat frowned upon to cart children around in cages, you’ll usually find the mum of a wild child desperately trying to contain her little wildling when out in public places. The mall is a prime example of the places the mum of a wild child fears. The supermarket, too, is perhaps the most unforgiving place on god’s earth – someone will inevitably leave in tears.

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Want to know the story behind this pic? Really? Okay then…read here

Always Filthy

With the wild child’s unparalleled skill to attract dirt, the mum of a wild child is generally sequential as the filth and dust and food and grit becomes transferred onto her. Indeed the mum of a wild child knows to never go near her little wildling wearing a newly washed work shirt. Weekend wear is all about the basics too, with any form of clothing 100% destined to be caked with smeared chocolate, yogurt and other unidentifiable excrements.

Caffeine Connoisseur 

Days with the wild child are usually planned around caffeine hits. The intensity of the hit is usually proportionate to the amount of sleep the wild child took through the night, and successively how little it has decided to nap through the day. Strong caffeine can usually power the mum of a wild child until the evening, when a relaxant us usually required.

Borderline Drinking Habit

The mum of a wild child needs an effective means of unwinding her frazzled nerves at the end of each day…okay!

A Little Jittery

With a good mix of everything listed above, you should understand that the mum of a wild child is always, always, ALWAYS on edge. The unshakable sense that she is about to be physically mauled by the wild child is always present, and the lingering need to step in to protect the wild child from some unbeknownst hazard keeps her half-present in any given adult social situation. Indeed even when the wild child is not present, you’ll usually find her a little jumpy around other children.

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Did I get smacked on the head with a sandal? You bet I did…

An Overwhelming Sense Of Love

The mum of a wild child loves her little wildling beyond compare. She may feel (and possibly look) 10 years older than her actual age, but hey, it’s all worth it. There is nothing in this world like snuggles with a calm wild child ❤

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Abbey x (the Mum of the wildest of them all!)

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You may also like:

8 Signs You’re Raising A Wild Child

10 All Too Familiar Parenting Scenarios…As Described Through Jurassic Park Quotes

An Ode To My Sanity: The One Baby Habit I Cannot Stand!

My Dirty Parenting Confessions

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