I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I am raising a wild child…
An energetic, uncontainable, disheveled little soul with a love of soil, dislike of clothes, and an absolute love of his Mummy!
Sound familiar? Here are a few signs you’re probably raising wild child too…
The Untamable Hair
The morning bedheads are awesomely epic. And they cannot be tamed! No matter how much water you put on, how much brushing you do, how much patting down you attempt, the wild child always looks disheveled and a little out of sorts. The Mum of this particular wild child could claim she lost the hair brush…but she secretly just loves the look!
Zero Interest In Naps
Naps are for the weak according to the wild child. Sleep, you say?! What an absolute waste of valuable stair-climbing, dirt digging, food throwing time. Also, who needs naps when you can JUMP ON MUMMY!?
A Tendency To Climb
The wild child will climb anything. ANYTHING! Stairs, walls, garden peripheries, sofas, beds, the cat. Anything. There is nothing too big or too small that the wild child won’t attempt to climb. If you’re really lucky, your wild child toddler may like to pull horrific stunts like this leaving poor Mummy in desperate need of wine!
Was not expecting him to do that when poised to take a nice park picture!
Not much to this one really. It is just a fact…the wild child likes to be naked. Naked as the day they were born. Simple as. The wearing of clothes can often cause issues. Indeed it is sometimes just easier to let them run free. Good thing baby bum bums are cute!
One minute – literally one minute in the garden – and filthy. FILTHY! The wild child’s ability to attract dirt is unparalleled. Gritty hair, sandy skin, scuffed knees are as common in your household as, well, muck!
Bath Time Abhorrence
On that note, the wild child likes to remain caked in dirt and grit and a sizeable layer of dust. They utterly detest bath time and will resist, RESIST within an inch of their life! Indeed bath time with the wild child is usually a two person job to… a) get them into the bath, and then… b) get them out as they realise that oh, hey, water is quite fun and they won’t be getting out any time soon…
Prams? NO! Car seats? NO! Carriers? NO! Mummy’s arms? NO! Reins? ABSOLUTELY NO!! The wild child will resist containment by any means possible. This generally results in a series of Mummy-meltdowns in public places as the wild child runs and touches and pulls whatever it desires…usually shop mannequins.
Interesting Table Manners
Now, taking into account the containment issues of the wild child, if you by some miracle manage to wrestle them into a high chair, there will be chaos. The wild child generally has an anarchic approach to eating food whereby little is eaten and much is thrown. Indeed food will reach places in your house where food has no rightful place to be. Windowsill anyone? And if you dare to let the wild child free with food…? DOOM!
Any of this sound familiar? Raising a wild child yourself? What would you add to the list?
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