Dear diary, something strange happened today.
While lazing comfortably in my favourite sunshine spot, Mum & Dad came home from their mini-break.
I didn’t think much of it at first, after all they regularly abandon me to the neighbor who lavishly feeds and tries to stroke me, unsuccessfully.
They came in looking happy and pretty normal.
But then I saw it.
This strange little bundle, cradled in Mum’s arms.
It intrigued me enough that I moved from my sunshine spot to inspect closer.
Seeing my interest, Mum leaned down to show me…it.
It was small. It was feeble. It smelt funny. It was a BALD PUSSYCAT!
Aghast, I turned and asked Dad for food. What else could I do!?
Dear diary, the bald cat is still here.
It is terribly noisy, and takes all of Mum’s time and attention.
I’d say it had outstayed its welcome, but Mum seems quite taken by it.
I don’t know why, it’s so ugly!
To say that I vehemently dislike it would be putting it mildly.
Dear diary, I sat on Mum & Dads bed this morning.
Dad swiftly booted me off.
The bald cat is allowed on the bed. Highly unfair!
I left a sick on the kitchen floor and went out for a bit. I doubt they’ll notice.
Dear diary, it’s been three weeks since the bald cat came to stay.
I’d say it’s vastly outstayed its welcome now, wouldn’t you?
I have, however, claimed what Mum & Dad refer to as “the bassinet” as my own, so I’d say that’s one small victory over the bald cat.
Dear diary, well, at least Mum seems to be losing weight.
For months I was telling her how fat she was getting!
Maybe she lost it so I can cuddle on her tummy again. That big round belly really got in the way.
I must find a way to distract her from the bald cat…
Dear diary, woe is me.
The bald cat is still here. And it’s getting bigger!
I fear it is here to stay.
And Mum seems to really love it.
I fear, nay, I know…I have been ousted from my spot as favourite!
I must reclaim my title.
Dear diary, that’s it, I’m leaving!
I said my goodbye meows outside Mum & Dads room at 4:00 this morning.
I left a poo in the doorway as a parting gesture. It’s well into the grouting.
I’m going to see if I can stay at Gavin’s for a while. His Mum gives him good food…
Dear diary, well as you know, my trip away was short lived.
Gavin wouldn’t share his food and I missed my bassinet.
The bald cat is still here.
It looks a bit cuter.
Still noisy though.
Mum has been giving me more cuddles. Not as many as the bald cat though. Pah.
Dear diary, the bald cat is getting really chubby.
Dear diary, the bald cat is on the move!
It also thinks I am utterly hilarious, apparently!
It crawled over today and roughly batted my head before rudely laughing in my face.
I was less than amused.
Dear diary, while I still utterly loathe the bald cat, I can’t quite help myself from being completely and utterly fascinated by it.
It is also warm.
I have been greatly enjoying day-time snuggles with Mum while purloining warmth from the bald cat.
Dear diary, the bald cat continues to become more mobile.
It has garnered more speed and has also mastered the ability to stand upright – something even I myself have never managed to achieve.
I often watch it from afar.
It seems to love it when I am around.
I still don’t know what it finds so funny about my being.
You better not be mocking my silky fur, bald cat!
Dear diary, I am no longer safe.
The bald cat is more mobile than I ever imagined.
Indeed, it has mastered the ability to walk upright like Mum & Dad.
Its attempts are pitiful, I must add, since it keeps falling over, but I still fear the worst.
I must seek out safer sleeping spots.
Dear diary, I am starting to develop an odd sense of affection towards the bald cat.
It seems to want to play with me.
While I have taken great steps to spurn its attempts, I am starting to find the attention somewhat enjoyable.
It may stroke me a little too enthusiastically sometimes, but Mum is teaching it how to be gentle.
I am getting lots of cuddles from Mum nowadays.
Sometimes Dad takes the bald cat away and I get Mum all to myself.
I am feeling somewhat pleased.
Dear diary, the bald cat is big!
It thumps around like it owns the place!
It tried to eat my breakfast this morning. I was greatly displeased and of course demanded a fresh serving immediately.
It does however tend to feed me chicken from that tall chair, so I may decide to forgive.
Honestly though, the utter cheek…
Dear diary, it’s been a whole twelve months since the bald cat came to stay.
It has changed a lot.
It is no longer so bald. In fact it has somewhat beautiful curly hair (though, not as beautiful as mine).
It is still very noisy but not quite as smelly.
It likes to play in the garden with me.
I tend to sit on the wall and guard the garden against the ginger puss while it throws and eats sand.
We make a pretty good team.
And I like that it makes Mum happy.
I get lots of cuddles from Mum nowadays!
I’m starting to wonder if the bald cat was meant as a gift for me.
I suppose it can stay for a bit longer.
I suppose I don’t mind.
In fact I’ve actually grown quite fond of it.
My very own bald cat!
I should probably think of a name for it…
I also made a BuzzFeed version of this post! Do take a look here.