I had my first attempt at creating a BuzzFeed list last week. They always make me laugh, particularly ones about parenting, so I thought I’d have a go! It took me ages though as it’s so hard to find the right images and GIFs. And since launch its only had nine measly views, so I thought I would tailor some of the content and add it here for a bit of lighthearted reading.
I am a huge breastfeeding advocate, and honestly do think it is the most amazing thing in the world. Having said that, it does have its challenges, so here is an amusing look at breastfeeding, and some of the things that any breastfeeding mother (or anyone who has ever been a breastfeeding mother for that matter) will understand.
1) The Third Trimester Foreign Substance
You know what it is and you know that this is meant to happen, but there is always the WTF moment when you see colostrum leak from your boobies for the first time! But in actual fact, it’s just your body readying itself to feed your soon-to-be-born bundle of joy. How amazing!
2) The ‘I Thought You Knew What To Do’ Moment
Your bundle of joy is born safe and sound and you can’t quite believe how amazing and perfect they are. You put your newborn to your chest, and they proceed to LICK your boob. It dawns on you that your baby has no idea what it’s doing, and neither do you! It took a couple of days for us to master the latch, but we got it down eventually.
3) Baywatch Boobs!
Your milk comes in and they look EPIC. They should actually be in Baywatch. Then the milk continues to come in, and they look like sandbags stuffed with pebbles…attached to your chest. And bloody HURT!
4) Nipple Cream
…Becomes your new best friend.
5) You Come To Understand How Little Patience Babies Have
“Does it look like I was born yesterday!?”
6) You Become Obsessed With The Anatomy Of The Perfect Latch
Moving a baby to the breast, rather than the breast to the baby is a lot harder than it sounds. Also, holding the baby in a position comfortable for the two of you WHILE initiating the perfect latch is quite unfathomable. But lo and behold, you eventually work it out.
7) Drunk Baby Face
It might just be the cutest thing you have ever seen!
Milk. Just. Everywhere.
9) An Aggressive Letdown
You can feel it coming, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. Your poor baby is often subject to something like this…
10) The Pain Of A Blocked Duct
I’ve never had one personally, but I’m told it feels and looks a little something like this…
11) Your Phone Becomes Your Window To The World
Breastfeeding is perhaps the best excuse in the world to sit for hours and browse Facebook or watch back to back episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians…unless your phone or the remote is slightly out of reach! Honest to god its torture. And you can’t even shout anyone for help for fear of disturbing your relaxed baby! #BreastfeedingProblems
12) Hungry All The Time
Your appetite is insatiable. But the actual amount of time you get to spend eating when you’re not carrying, feeding, changing or soothing your baby is next to none! I found it hard to even make a piece of toast in the early days. Alas, it helped me drop the pregnancy weight.
13) It’s Practically A Workout
Your body burns about 500 calories a day just making milk! Who needs the gym when you’re a badass breastfeeder!
14) Daring To Feed In Public For The First Time
Eyes are upon you and feel hideously exposed and naked…something a little like this…
(but it does get easier, trust me)
15) Breast pads Are A Girls Best Friend
But sheer terror ensues when you realise you’ve left the house without them!
[Fr. Nipple + whiplash = niplash]
Definition: When a baby suddenly and energetically jerks their head to look up, down and all around the room, while still firmly attached to your nipple.
Fear? You don’t know fear until you’ve stuck your nipple in your teething baby’s mouth!
18) The Teasing Way Baby Looks At Dad When It Gets Boob
As if to say “Look what’s mine, and not yours…mwahaha”
Courtesy of…Leonardo da Vinci
19) The Intimate Relationship With Your Breast Pump
The sound of “whiiiizzz…hurrrrr, whiiiizzzz…hurrrr, whiiiizzz…hurrr” literally gives you shudders
20) Dark Thoughts
You’ve run out of cow’s milk for your cup of tea, and you’ve genuinely thought about using breast milk out of desperation…
21) Trigger Happy Latching
As your baby gets bigger, it starts to latch whenever and wherever. Anything is a potential booby!
22) Snuggle Feeds Are The Best
Despite all of the above, you love nothing more than to settle down with your baby and have a good snuggly feed, especially at the end of a long day ❤
23) You’re In Awe Of Your Own Body
You grow your baby, you deliver your baby, and you feed and nourish your baby. How incredible is that!? It puts men to shame really…but don’t tell them that.
24) Everybody Loves Boobies!
Your baby loves boobies, Daddy loves boobies, you love boobies. Everybody loves boobies! Well, except for Western society…unless they’re dairy free that is!
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If you’re keen to see the Buzzfeed version which has more images and Gifs, you can find it here.
Also, here is a really funny one that I came across.